Its 1 in the morning, as i'm writing this, tears start rolling down my cheeks. Well, you can call me a pussy or whatever. It's hard to see someone you love so much, suffering, and yet, you can't fucking do anything about it. She might say it don't matter, that loving her was enough. Deep down in you, you know you can do better than this. All i want to do is see her smile, everyday. All i want to do is make her laugh, make her happy. I guess i suck in that huhh.
I miss all the times we had. Dodgeball, running, dancing. It was fun, those were the times that i could really see her happy. And seeing her happy, just makes it all worthwhile. It makes all the sacrifices worth taking. But now, i can't even take care of her, make sure she's alright. Make sure she's not hurt. When she does, i just, sit there, and ask her to feel better, drink water, take care of herself. But what the fuck did i do? nothing. Maybe praising other girl's ability wasnt the best motivation, all i wanna do is make her feel more excited to be back.
Maybe she set her standards up high. Well, i'm just down low. It's like you want to be the best in everything to prove to her that you're the one, to make her proud that she has you. But failure after failure, you start questioning yourself, " Could i be the one? ". You put in 100% to make her proud, you fail. You put in 200% and failed. 300%, still fail, yet you won't give up.
Because you know, after all this thunderstorm and pouring rain, you and her will get the chance to experience the rainbow and sunshine. You will wait for it, cos' you just her to be the one beside you when you experience it. You know it's love when you look into her eyes.
Well, how do i know? I see it in hers :)
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