chapter 626.

i know i fucked things up. i played with fire, i got burned. i've learnt my lesson. but like you said, trust is like a piece of fucking paper. once it is crumpled, it will never look the same again. however, you will never know the situation i am in right now. messed things up, trying hard to prove a point that i am trying to change, all that just doesnt change overnight. all i said is that i needed time to prove a point. to prove that i am a changed man, and not a little egoistic bastard.

i put my egos aside. from what i personally think, i've changed alot. i have left my egos behind. these fights are not because of egos. its just a little misunderstanding, that occurs too damn frequently. i've swallowed my pride, but you cant always be the one who's right. at times, i do tend to try to give my stand on things, my opinion on things. isnt that what love is? a two-sided relationship, of giving and taking?

my friend, who i talked to, said that im still young. and there's many other girls i havent seen, and discovered yet. then he asked me, "do you believe that you and her will last?" this question has always been lingering in my mind every time we fight, and even more these nights. i told him, "if we continue fighting, eventually one of us is going to give up, but i still hold on to that little piece of hope that we'll be together, forever".

when you tell me that you gave up on me, i really felt it. those text you sent to me, those words you said to me, really hurt me. but i constantly told myself that, "its just in the heat of the moment, she doesnt mean it". i try to make myself believe that, but i just cant. it hurts too much that whenever i read it over and over again, i tear up.

trying not to cry, cause it makes me feel weak. and not to show to my parents that their son is not okay. they have their own problems to worry about :/

i really need you, i really want you, i really love you. from the bottom of my fucking shattered, broken, sincere, heart. <3 limxinwei